Get Ready For The Rapture

When the Rapture comes, what will be happen to your pets? Well worry no more, a group of Atheists have you covered for a small fee with their new company Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA.

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 20 states and growing. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet’s natural life.

Unfortunately for those patiently waiting to be collected by Jesus and taken to heaven here in South Dakota, you will have to wait a bit longer as they haven’t made it here yet. If on the other hand you have a nice muscle car or Harley you’d like taken care of though, I’m your man and I’d be willing to do it for free…

(via Dvorak Online)

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No Doubt Here

If there was really a hell, this guy would have covered all the bases needed to get there.

A Nebraska man who stole a painting of the Virgin Mary to finance an abortion for a teen he raped has been convicted of first-degree sexual assault and felony theft.

(h/t – The Invisible Pink Unicorn)

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This Is Just Wrong

As it is, I am not sure how I feel about keeping the ashes of your departed loved ones in an urn on the fireplace mantel but I am sure that keeping them in this particular type of vessel anywhere is just plain creepy.

Personal urns are a new and exciting way to memorialize your loved one. Now we can create a custom urn in the image of your loved one or favorite Celebrity.New advances in facial reconstruction and 3D printing have made it possible to have an urn made in the image of anyone from just a photograph.Never forget a face. Personal Urns combine art and technology to create a family heirloom that will be cherished for generations.

(Gizmodo via The Daily What)

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Didn't See It Coming?

So if you are a nationally known psychic with appearances on Oprah and Larry King, how is it that you didn’t see this coming?

Denise M. Hall, 51, of East Arlington, was charged with one count of wire fraud and one count of filing a false tax return, after taking between $120,000 and $200,000 from her employer, Rosemary Altea of Dorset, according to Assistant U.S. Attorney Bill Darrow.

Hall was employed by Altea, a nationally known self-proclaimed psychic and “spiritual medium” who has appeared on “Oprah” and “Larry King Live,” between 2001 and 2008 as an office manager and bookkeeper.

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#TwitterFail On California's Prop 8 Being Overturned

The California Supreme Court has just overturned Proposition 8 allowing gays to marry once again!

Sound like a major story? Well it was on Twitter but unfortunately it has no shred of truth to it as apparently someone, accidentally or not, sent a tweet out with a link to an LA Times story proclaiming the overturning of Prop 8 and it has been spreading like wildfire ever since. Unfortunately the article was dated May 16th, 2008!

Oops…

UPDATE: Guess what, apparently it was the LA Times themselves who were responsible for the errant Tweet. Double Oops…

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Now That's One Big Piece Of FOD

FOD for those unfamiliar with the term means “Foreign Object Damage” and is used to describe objects that can be sucked into and through jet engines often causing catastrophic failure. It appears that this Japan Airlines jet at LAX came across one big piece of it in the form of a stray cargo container.

All 245 on board this plane were uninjured and didn’t even need divine intervention but the engine on the other hand will likely be in need of some help…

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