Monday, October 20, 2008

The 20 Worst Sequels Of My Lifetime

I was watching Escape From LA a few days ago and it got me thinking about the literally endless number of sequels I have seen that should never have been made. Of course once I started thinking about it I just had to make a list of my top or should I say bottom 20. To make my list the original movie had to be something that I enjoyed so no Grease or Legally Blonde 2's allowed. Here's my list:

20. Batman & Robin - I thought Val Kilmer was the worst Batman. After seeing Clooney's portrayal, I discovered that I was wrong...
19. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace - Jar Jar Binks, do I need to say more?
18. From Dusk Till Dawn 2 and 3 - The first was a Quentin Tarantino classic gore flick with Clooney and Keitel. The sequels were Tarantino-less and were unwatchable.
17. Karate Kid (all sequels) - There is only so much "wax on, wax off" a guy can take.
16. Porky's 2 Porky's was an adolescent male's Shakespeare. Porky's 2 was so bad no amount of skin could save it.
15. Lost Boys: The Tribe - The original had Kiefer, Jaime Gertz, and an awesome soundtrack. The sequel didn't.
14. Highlander III - Highlander had Sean Connery, Clancy Brown playing an awesome villian, and heads flying everywhere all set to a great Queen soundtrack, II was barely passable, III was just a waste of film.
13. Escape From LA - Escape From New York was a John Carpenter classic. Donald Pleasence, Adrienne Barbeau, Ernest Borgnine, and Isaac Hayes. Escape from LA has so hokey that I am still laughing.
12. Speed II: Cruise Control - Sandra Bullock is only watchable in small quantities, the original was plenty.
11. Basic Instinct II - The original had Sharon Stone. The sequel had Stone 14 years later. Need I say more?
10. Planet Of The Apes 3 to 5 - After the first 2 even the studios knew that it was a waste and proved it by not giving producers enough of a budget to provide makeup to most of the extras.
9. Jaws 3D - We went from classic lines like "We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat" to some of the worst 3D effects ever filmed.
8. Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd - Dumb & Dumber was a funny retreat from reality and had hottie Lauren Holly to look at. I couldn't get through 5 minutes of this pre-quel.
7. Blues Brothers 2000 - An old Dan Aykroyd and no John Belushi, enough said.
6. Weekend at Bernies 2 - The first was a funny and original concept. The second wasn't either.
5. Rocky 3 through 5 - Rocky should have retired after finally defeating Apollo Creed.
4. The Matrix 2 and 3 - The original was so good I was able to overlook the horrible acting abilities of Keanu Reeves. The following 2 Matrix movies weren't.
3. Smokey and the Bandit III - No Bert, no Sally and no story.
2. The Godfather III - Francis Ford Coppola's first 2 Godfather's were all time greats. I guess he wanted an all time worst to go along with it. He succeeded.
1. Caddyshack II - So bad it almost ruined the reputation of the original and considering Caddyshack is one of the best comedies of all time, that is saying something.

I am sure I forgot some so lay them on me. What are your worst sequels?

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